rain rain go away

There are a lot of things I want to blog about, but I cannot remember what.

Let me ramble ramble ramble!

Oh yes. I have been eating as if it is the end of the world tomorrow. Let's just say that "eating in moderation" does not exist in my dictionary.

And now I must rant. Last night, or technically this morning, I stayed up late to do an essay. It is not finished, but I just need to type my conclusions so by my standards IT'S FINISHED. I went to bed at 3.30 am, woke at 8.00 just minutes ago. Why?
Because I'm supposed to host a tea party/ breakfast picnic on my college lawn today! I was super excited and motivated! I wanted to finish as much of my essay as possible so that I could enjoy my picnic.
Now, the weather outside looks like SHIT. WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! Wah lao I plan so nicely for it to be thursday because ONE of the weather forecasts say that will be cloudy but never it will rain so I thought at worst misty misty still very romantic like Pride and Prejudice. Aiyo please please please don't rain!!! :(

I AM UPSET LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's move on. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

If the IT department was monitoring my computer, I don't think they'll have a very good impression of me. I have been typing things like "Gesualdo's boyfriend", "Gesualdo homosexuality", "Gesualdo bisexual tendencies", "Gesualdo masochism". But I can justify these perverse enquiries! I have to write an essay on this Gesualdo guy, who is a MURDEROUS MASOCHISTIC MUSICIAN, and my essay title is:

Gesualdo’s boyfriend. How does our understanding of the composer’s music change with attitudes towards sexuality?

My tutor comes up with the best questions and he words them in the best ways ever I tell you. Just look at that question. Does it not imply that Gesualdo is gay, if not at least bisexual? I spent 1-2 days reading up on his life, and it would be more accurate to say that I spent 1-2 days looking for his boyfriend. CANNOT FIND.
I emailed my tutor thereafter, saying:

"I've borrowed some books on Gesualdo from the music faculty library and the new college library but I can't seem to find any mention of his boyfriend. The controversial bits that I've come across are the murder of his first wife and his masochistic practices. Do you have any books or internet sources to recommend?"

His reply:

"Not immediately to hand; just start from the idea that the wife's
lover was, and write about how that aspect would affect your view of
him"

Okay. I don't know about you, but that was not English to me. I am very demoralised.
I tell people that English is my first language leh. Win already.


The weather is still depressing. I need a hot shower.

Up and down... ferris wheel...
Tell me how does it feel
To be so high... high... high?

Is it lonely?